War are we going?

11.45-3.00

Hello again, three o' clock. Are we going to become oft-seen acquaintances?

Would you mind terribly if I decided I wanted to stop seeing you? I think you would. And I'm conflict-avoidant, so I'll probably end up seeing you again, despite my inner protesting.

I've established myself pretty well on the new server. Things definitely went smoother- I noticed the little question marks on the bottom, which actually might have turned out to be helpful last time, and I knew to pay attention to what was where so I could use that information for later reference. Starting off in a completely different realm area has been a little lonely, though, when everyone else who's shown up tonight can PvP already.

But I'm excited, and level 5. (I insisted that I stay up until I hit it.) My new character, while still a Magus, is more Asian-looking with paleness and dark hair, and I named her Onikko, which gets its root in the Japanese word for demon, Oni. It seemed appropriate for a Chaos.

Eh. I think my diminishing cold was exacerbated by sitting outside Sudikoff for twenty minutes or so. I probably should have put on more warm things when I came over.

Warhammer is certainly seeming like a pretty big time commitment now. Sudikoff is just too far from East Wheelock for me to think, "Hm, let's go be frivolous and play for a little bit." I feel like I ought to play a lot. Which is pretty intense, although I think I learn better with longer immersion rather than if I have to re-remember everything as I come back.

This whole thing seems pretty fun, but during class today we had a discussion of plot in multiplayer games (focused on MUDs) and I realized why I stopped playing Midnight Sun, my old text-based MMORPG. It wasn't because I got fed up with having to enforce the world, although I couldn't make the necessary time commitment. If I'd had a problem with constantly building up and maintaining the magic circle, I'd never have then gone into roleplaying. I just think I don't really approach gaming as a way to socialize. I want to play and enjoy plot and feel challenged and, well, mostly it's a one-on-one experience. If I'm playing other people, then they're generally my friends or family. And I just don't feel as connected playing computer games versus console games.

Maybe I'm just taking comfort in the familiar, the familiar being the medium of games I've played all my life, but I can't see my sister and I bonding over Warhammer [or the like]- I don't think it'd be interesting for either of us to watch each other and I don't think playing with each other would be that interesting, either. I mean, I don't expect the strange and happy bonding experiences like screaming at each other in Mario Party from this game, or the intense weariness of pushing oneself through yet another Guitar Hero round, but the Legend of Zelda games, which I most link to these fantasy MMORPGs, are ones that we can watch each other play infinitely (seriously, infinitely- we've beat Twilight Princess several times) and I don't think my patience would be anywhere that near with Warhammer. The biggest difference I can think of is plot. Coming online to play Warhammer seems to be coming online to smash things. Even the quests are simply a case of killing so many Seared Souls or talking to the Thurmonger or finding the five Brimming Barrels. When you do this, you get stronger (which I tend to assume happens anyway) and you get money. I mean, these are key elements to surviving in most gaming worlds, but if I were playing Zelda, then I'd also be achieving some sort of goal, learning more about the plot, or - as strange as it seems, that this is important to me - making some game character happy.

I just don't make anyone happy in Warhammer. It's not even being on the side of Destruction. Mythic has done a very good job of making sure the playing fields are even, and I don't think I'd feel much more satisfied if I were killing Marauders and putting out fires, instead of killing Marauders and setting houses on fire. (Nobody likes Marauders, apparently. Sorry, Robert.)

But I'm not setting people free from the realm of a dragon or piecing together a magic mirror, and I don't think there's any chance that, whenever I end playing Warhammer, I will cry. I will unabashedly admit that I seek escapism in games, just as I seek it in my books, movies, and webcomics. And I think that I demand this same engaging plotline even in my webcomics- I actually, after only reading 20 or so pages of a new one I've gotten interested, experienced the "Wait, it's now already?! I can't believe so much time has passed!" feeling that many people experienced with Warhammer.

It's not that these haven't been an enjoyable three hours. I've just been very aware, the whole time, that I was playing a game and was very separate from it all, and I definitely knew what time it was the whole time. I don't feel that sad about leaving Szyr behind to watch the Sea of Malice rage on without her, and I'm not feeling that attached to Onikko- were it not for the fact that I accidentally click her sometimes, I wouldn't need to see her name at all, really, and it wouldn't affect me. There is no story. There's the lore, and whatnot, but that's more like the rules to establishing some world more than any actual plot. Chaos humans are just chaosy for some reason, and order humans are like, "Hm, they're ugly and like killing us, so rawr!" High elves are apparently pretty snooty and dark elves just hate everyone because they're narcissistic dark elves. Destruction just wants to kill things. Order just wants to kill destruction. War doesn't bring out the culture in people. I don't mind narcissism (in fact, one could argue that I'm rather fond of it in moderation found in people, as it makes them very interesting to me) but dark elves are just narcissistic because they are. Where are the personalities in Warhammer?! Everyone just says, with the busy air of someone who has no time to think and simply does what they must because they're at war, that you ought to go fight and do this quest or that quest. Sometimes they take upon the bravado that accompanies bloodshed, or the weakness that accompanies threat. But there is no cocky and confident dark elf who kills for fun in a dangerously careless way, there is no sensual and mysterious sorceress or a brash and tormented bright mage. there aren't even traitors. I liked the Witch Hunters, because they reminded me of Roland in Stephen King's Dark Tower series, of the carefree and casually deadly gunslingers, driven by necessity and, while not inherently good, still somehow admirable and likeable. Witch Hunters in Warhammer run around and right-click on things, occasionally joining parties and killing people because they're evil and on the other side, and well, that's what they do. There isn't any element of choice in it. There aren't any traitors. There aren't good elves and evil elves- the evil elves are a race of their own. There is no such thing as a bad dwarf. Think of it- if there were, wouldn't it be so interesting to find out why they were so different?

Even now, while blogging, I can get that "Wow! Look at how much time has passed!" sensation. But I love writing, and I'm on a rant. I can instead compare Warhammer to games the like of Final Fantasy or Fire Emblem (OMG I LOVE FIRE EMBLEM), not in the style of gameplay but in that the fighting is removed from the story. I guess I just want some cutscenes and conversations to tell me that I'm doing something.


In a world where a pressuring, war-obsessed nature has permeated not only people's actions but their minds, I want to know why. I don't think Warhammer has the answers.



(Additional idea- another BIG difference- Zelda had sound. Really really really good sound. Maybe that's my problem? I'm a pretty aural person.)