bail

last night... last night was hard. i was going to play in the afternoon but got mired in a zillion other things i had to do before i left town for the weekend. so i never made it to thayer where everyone gathered for the first grand slam. arnyek did not get to be involved. and when i play, when i'm a player, and when i commit, i like to be present and i like to be involved.
i was thinking of a number of things, probably because i had no better idea of how to engage, even though i was absent.

we talked about a number of these things with riaka the day before yesterday... so, yeah.... what interests me most right now is: why did i want this cognitive dissonance about being on the bad side and how bad is bad? like rioka, i feel like it's 'kool' to be on the side of chaos. live and die by the rule. and that is, actually what attracted me to arnyek. she indulges in turning things on their head and raise havoc. she revels in melee. wheni saw her graphic traits, i liked how decadent she looked compared to the impish high elves. and she is dark.

am i more drawn to her character than the game itself?
am i going to prove Diane Karr right about playing for the sake of aesthetic experience?

back on sunday. until then - i'm suspended..